Adam’s Got the Devil in His Eyes

23 November 2009

By Xena

So there he is, Adam as bad boy, no really bad boy and exceedingly handsome devil, the kind your mother, father, brother and great-aunt Alice warned you about.  Impeccably dressed as a dandy gentleman, hair flaring, ferocious eyes, menacing lips, Mephistopheles dared us to join him in Dante’s second circle of Hell and we willingly descended with him to the Lust Department. There we find Cleopatra, Helen of Troy and Lancelot, along with a whole lot of limber and daring dancers, dressed in all manner of fetishistic costumes and they must , since we don’t have slave labour, be willing participants in the performance.

Yet when we arrived in that house of carnal knowledge, we were shocked! Shocked I tell you – some of us were awed too.  What were you expecting to find down there?  High School Musical?  Whom were you expecting to see?  Tinkerbell?  Just how many times did you rewind and watch again? Did you rewind any other performances?  Did he really do that? Have to check that again…..

You can have those pasty-faced bloodless characters from the Nightlight Zone, those sexless vampiricals; give us the hot-blooded Satan, seductive and flammable – the fire-starter.  The stage actually came alive!  Could anyone take their eyes off him, even with just prurient interest to see how far he would push?  OOFF! was that spontaneous? I tried to explain to my fellow exhausted, hot and bothered watchers what the adrenaline rush is like on stage, it’s overwhelming and you just want to do some extra pirouettes, a grande  jeté or plant a great big smacker of a kiss on the closest set of lips.  Whew! – back to work.

We didn’t call him the King of Kink for nothing!  Who could forget the first mic stand massage on the Idols tour?  Oh, the outrage!  Ticket sales went up.  The panties flew!  Panty sales went up.  The whips, the cufflinks, sorry handcuffs – not Adam’s props, the audiences brought them to the party, he just played with them.  More Adam!  More Adam!  More tickets sold.  Barriers lined up with Adam’s fans ten deep awaiting just a glimpse, a fleeting moment of eye contact – they waited hours.

Janet Jackson must be soooo jealous, all that crotch-grabbing, her own and her male dancers’ and what did it get her??? Nothing.  How about all the other performers having a bad voice night, some even a bad hair night? Nothing.  JLo fell too and who gets the headline?  So forget the bad hair, bad sound and falls, since they were common.  Bad Sound – there were so many technical glitches when that paragon of virtue, M&M sang his duet with Half-a-Dollar, I really only heard every other word and even those I didn’t catch – is there a Berlitz course to learn it?  Weak joke, but I could not help it tonight.

It was the Revenge of Arkansas at the AMAs – Taylor Swift & Gloriana? while Lady GaGa was completely shut-out.  Was the audience from Arkansas?  This is L.A. and the music industry, and they seemed unimpressed or sad or angry, confused maybe at the end of Adam’s performance?  They could not possibly be shocked, could they, these sin city sophisticates?  Can’t wait to hear members of the audience tell us what they thought of the show and each performance, especially what they remember of what they saw.

Do we want to play with Satanic Adam every day?  I doubt most of us could handle it. Sometimes we need a bit of Feverish Adam, some Soaked Adam, the Broken Open Adam and I am looking forward to meeting them too.  We’ll meet them on tour, I’m sure.

To the hand-wringers out there – are you worried about what others think?  Are you uncomfortable with your own feelings?   Will you throw away your Adam CD, your iTunes, the YouTube downloads, dump the hundreds of photos from your computer files and the souvenir programme with his autograph?  Sorry, you would never throw those away – you would sell them on E-Bay.

Or, are you going to say – fine, we got that out of the way – let’s prepare for the tour!

At the very end, who was left standing – Adam the Angry Young Man in a suit.  Last time we saw the AYM, was when he sang Black and White on Idol.  Why did Adam bring him back tonight?

Did someone say “Adam succeeded because America is ready for someone like him”?  I stand by my interpretation – no one was or is ready for Adam Lambert.  He crashed the party.  More on that later.

 

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