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Twitter Soapbox – Adam Lambert’s take on bullying

January 11, 2013

Didn’t Adam once say if he hadn’t become a singer, he might have become a psychotherapist? Those close to him have likened him to the big O (double-entendre intended). Well tonight fans were treated to a bit of the Oprah treatment in an hour-long twitter session about bullying. Adam raised a point that we’ve often thought about. What do you think?

AdamTweet-011112

@Artistsupporter@adamlambert Unfortunately, having a thick skin is not very commonly taught.
@S1ngPianoGuitar@Artistsupporter @adamlambert helping to build their confidence and let them know they don’t deserve that treatment is a must.
@Oshi4Real@adamlambert That’s part of it, but kids need role models and a community that supports them. You found community in theater as a kid : )
@evanrachelwoodI always feel bad for the “bully” as well as the “victim” something is obviously missing from that persons life. Love perhaps.
@adamlambert@evanrachelwood I love YOU! Ugh!
@SXMGlambert@adamlambert Bullies will not cease existing; like such problems you should learn to get through it and deal with it. So true
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@TheInsecureWolf@adamlambert I’ve actually becomed more bullied when the teachers started talking about it.
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@adamlambertI just don’t want to see this generation develop into a bunch of victims. I want them to be empowered and ignore petty bullshit. How?
@adamlambertI think we should encourage kids to make new friends. Reach out to that kid eating alone at lunch. Focus in the positive.
@CindyLove2Lurk@adamlambert Bullies have radar as to who is vulnerable.. the bullied become bullies.The goal > instilling confidence&security in all kids
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@GlamTrespasser8@adamlambert I have been bullied a lot :/ but i just wanted to tell you that you helped me thru it all Adam, your songs helped me escape (c)
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@adamlambertit’s a case by case thing. If someone’s being so viciously bullied that its affecting their mental health – yes- huge problem we must stop
@adamlambertBut because its become such a trendy way to identify certain kinds of typical teenage angst, I hope it’s not making it worse.
@adamlambertThe irony of course is how this is all viewed outside of school, in the adult world. The celebrity scene is a prime example.
@adamlambertCelebrities are bullied online, by tabloids & paps, yet there’s a strong opinion in society that “we asked for this, part of the job”
@adamlambertYet w/ social networking taking over, isnt society emulating celebrity culture by posting pics and updates of themselves to a broad audience
@adamlambertSo with fame having become the new American Dream, are we punishing those who have ‘made it’ with our own inferiority complexities? Envy?
@adamlambertAnd btw it’s one thing to constructively criticize someone’s work or decisions, it’s another to attack their very essence. Right?
@classicroc4ever@adamlambert Bullies have insecurities within themselves and I believe this is why they are so brutal projecting isses onto others
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@lillylane1962@adamlambert “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. 🙂 Oscar Wilde
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@randomhandler@adamlambert Agreed! I do get carried away with my own snark/sarcasm from time to time and now feel inclined to reflect on my own behavior.
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@adamlambertI’m not quite sure of how any of what I’m tweeting would be disappointing to anyone…. Someone explain? We are having a twitter forum!
@darpf@adamlambert i think 1 thing that is very sad is many of the glamberts agreeing with you are bullies themselves, see it every day on twitter
 Retweeted by Adam Lambert
@adamlambertBack to the original point, I simply wish we’d focus more energy on the victims’ empowerment versus labeling anyone whos negative as a bully
@adamlambertThe reason I brought up how society tends to view celebrity culture was to suggest the sometimes hypocritical aspect to victim/bullying.
@adamlambertSometimes it seems that folks adopt an “eye for an eye” attitude instead of just rising above it. Doesn’t this just become a vicious cycle?
 ‏@adamlambertAnd NO. I’m not taking sides in any of the current celeb beefs. This is a general conversation. More about society as a whole.
@adamlambertim not saying there shouldn’t be consequences for bullies. I’m saying that HELPING folks cope and ignore is ALSO important & more proactive
@adamlambertOk I’ve ranted enough on this soapbox that is twitter. I love a good discussion. Grateful for everyone’s insight- been enlightening. #exhale
@adamlambertAnd FYI- ANYONE is welcome in this Glamily. ANYONE. Please be welcoming and kind. Quit cyber fighting.
12 Comments leave one →
  1. January 11, 2013 11:25 pm

    What a guy!

  2. EVVY permalink
    January 11, 2013 11:39 pm

    Yes, love and be loved! Adam, thank you. The attention alone on this subject is very encouraging, Talking about it really helps; putting it out in the open, Adam you are so kind and have a big heart and understanding, I hope those that need/want help should reach out.

  3. SRT permalink
    January 12, 2013 12:15 am

    One of the many things I’ve always loved about Adam is that he talks with his fan base about many topics including serious ones and I love Adam all the more for addressing this issue. I’ve stayed away from posting on Twitter and other social sites because I just couldn’t deal with some of the hate I saw out there…perhaps I’m just being overly sensitive? As someone who’s been bullied, I can tell you from what I’ve experienced in my past Adam’s words touched my heart and I know that he has the power to help so many people out there like he’s helped me. Sometimes just an outstretched hand and a kind word can turn a person’s world around for the better. I wish everyone love and peace. Everyone deserves love and I will always be a proud Adam fan.

    • Adina permalink
      January 13, 2013 5:13 pm

      I can’t tell you how to approach social sites but remember, you have the power to change things. I’ve always posted philosophical comments on YouTube and one day, I actually “met” someone who had been reading and said I was different. We’ve kept in touch ever since. Or, people tell me, “I won’t talk about this on Facebook” – “well, if you don’t, while being on there, then you’re just perpetuating the same situation”, I said. “You make it difficult for people to express what they actually think, because they limit themselves thinking *I can’t talk about this on this website, it’s not appropriate*”. No, actually, freedom of expression means you can talk about anything anywhere and that’s the underlying goal to these sites – many have found an outlet and real friends who can help them cope through difficult RL situations.

      Sometimes I find it too hard to deal with Adam’s fandom itself… but I remind myself, nobody’s forced me to go in there and take everything on – I just follow my heart and “antennae” and see what comes out of it.

      So, in addition to my previous comment on bullying, I will say yes, social sites can be a vehicle for hate but we really need to focus on the positive and create that which we want to see happen – be that difference we want to make, as opposed to hiding. I don’t know about you, but I have also acted like a bully at times, so I find it easier to understand both perspectives, that of the victim and of the oppressor. These are just roles in a Game, we’re just feeding on someone’s energy by making them fear. But it’s not “quality” energy, lol… only Love can give that. So if we want this behaviour to be phased out, we need to understand the whole psychology of it, without judgments and labelling. What judgment does is restrict the person to their already established role – when what they need is the way out, the key.

      Did you notice that bullies in American movies are many times depicted with ginger hair? While in reality, gingers are often the target. Makes you wonder about that choice of casting – must be about standing out from the crowd…

    • January 13, 2013 11:42 pm

      We have a nice safe corner here. I’m constantly impressed with the quality of the writing, and the women who frequent this site.

  4. Marilyn permalink
    January 12, 2013 12:58 pm

    Such a smart man. Used Twitter platform responsibly and spoke articulately.

  5. January 12, 2013 3:52 pm

    Reblogged this on Antebellum Rose and commented:
    I agree wholeheartedly with the view Adam expresses here. It’s good to take actions to change our culture from one where bullying is widespread to one where it is much less common. But that kind of change is sill a long way off, while there are still people of all ages suffering from bullying. Reaching out to them and helping them through the hardship they’re experiencing would hopefully lower the rates of things like depression, self-harm and suicide. Both are important, but the latter is definitely something that can produce more immediate results.

  6. Adina permalink
    January 13, 2013 9:05 am

    Things are changing, I see it as he’s not the only one to address the issue, and a feeling of connectedness is created.

    It’s a complex subject. High-schools are genuine Mouths of Hell!
    Yes, bullies usually have a difficult family situation, and want to feel empowered by terrorizing others. It’s an energy/emotional issue and should be treated with equanimity. Both the victims and the bullies should receive help of the empowering kind, since the bully is also a victim before becoming a bully.

    Rising above it is ideal, but very hard to achieve. People react differently and have various degrees of sensitivity. My classmate who was treated same as me, later on told me it was all behind her (no idea if this is actually true or a social mask). I on the other hand kept on suffering and self-sabotaging myself for many, many years – this in turn made me feel even more ashamed, like “I couldn’t rise above it like everyone advises me to… I’m so weak”. So I couldn’t even face my friends anymore because I didn’t want anyone to know I was still in pain.

    Escapism is important, but it can also become very isolating for the young person. The young person then becomes dependent on something which is seen as “outside his or her own world”, and never gets round to using the Key.

    As for celeb culture and social networking… yep, yep we do emulate it. But there are different levels and people. Many still don’t believe the internet is actually “happening”, i.e. the social empowerment which happens through it – they see much of the negative, but none of the positive. Others use it to create lifetime bonds which, in actual fact, change the world… The technology itself and being savvy is an empowering thing.
    Dunno, when I received a twitter reply from Jai Rodriguez I was over the moon… it beat any diplomas I got, and he said, “thank you for the love”. These days, I have expanded enough to realize all celebs are also real people, with feelings and a personal history. The dreams they give us, are also within us. We can dream and be anything we want to be.

    So what I’m trying to say is there is no need for envy when you realize that there is no single unitary standard to aspire to, everything is based on your own desires and your ability to stay true to yourself. This awareness (some would say “sacred feminine” mind) was brought on by the interaction with the multi-faceted, multi-dimensional cyber world, where people behind keyboards are still real. I learned so much and for me personally, it built up my confidence and eventually it helped me break out of my own social shell. Before that, I found hope in all the great movies I watched and the great books I read – but they only reached into my world, they couldn’t drag me out – I had to do that myself.

    In conclusion: all of us have all these sides to our personality, we can be both the oppressors and the victims – they’re all just roles we fall into, part of the Spectrum. None of us are happy because we’re incomplete, wearing those masks. By bringing Love, one understands that one can step out and write a new role for oneself, one where you are truly happy.

    • pumpkit101 permalink
      January 14, 2013 7:36 am

      Adina, Thank you for these beautiful and thought-provoking words about the horrible issue of bullying!! In the 1990’s I was a middle-school math teacher at a private school in an affluent area of Southern California. Many of these students had been together since nursery school and being a new student could be challenging, especially if you were different or not as wealthy as others. We realized that a new girl would be starting as a 7th grader in the fall and she didn’t fit the mold of most of the girls. She was extremely overweight and from a single parent household with limited resources. We decided to take action and invite five or six of the most popular girls in the class to discuss this with them before school started. We talked to them about bullying, self-esteem and everything that goes along with being an adolescent. We asked them to not “judge a book by its cover” and give her a chance. She was a very bright girl who seemed well-adjusted and probably easy to like if given a chance. This worked! She was welcomed into the group and became very well-liked and included. I look back on this situation and wonder if today this approach would have worked. Would this girl had come into the situation already being bullied by people online and have less self-esteem? Would her mother be aware of social media and know how to handle it? Maybe, maybe not. She and her mother were a great team and this girl would probably have been okay but it would definitely had been more challenging. Would we as teachers had to approach the situation differently knowing there were so many outside influences at play that we couldn’t control? Maybe this girl would have a blog where she could express her thoughts and find strength in others? I don’t know where this girl is today and how she is doing but I feel confident she is doing well and can look back on her middle school experience with good memories. When my own daughter was in middle school I went to a talk that discussed the fact that it only takes one good friend for someone to be able to navigate those challenging social years of middle school and high school. They don’t need to be part of a group or social circle; it just takes one person to be your true friend and cheerleader to help you through the hard times. Maybe this is how social media can help bring that love!

  7. January 25, 2013 8:58 pm

    I was that kid..the kid that got builled..never really talked about it until Adam said something.. I was too late to probably get a response but I sure told my story…

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