Adam Lambert’s Idol Feast – Ring of Fire
“Because he is a pumpkin pie of a person” — Quotes about Adam from TWOP’s “Jacob”. Reposted by Gypsy Scribbles, These are so vivid and entertaining, they just called out to be combined with the performance videos for a multimedia journey back down this beloved memory lane.
Ryan asks if Adam’s going to go the same route as Lil, showing some reverence for the style and demonstrating self-control, and Adam’s like, “Fucking what?” Ryan points out the total polar opposition of Adam and Randy Travis, and Adam refers to him as a real “gentleman.” The idea of Ryan Seacrest sitting there talking about how Adam and Randy Travis could not be more different in every single way especially the ones you’re thinking of is exceedingly skeevy. Then we watch Randy Travis stare into the abyss of crazy that is Adam, and wonder if he’s going to live through it. Randy asks if he knows “Ring Of Fire” from Johnny Cash, and he says he’s going to sing an arrangement he heard that has an “Eastern influence.” And I mean, let’s all line up for the chorus of “how dare you butcher” and all that, except for how Johnny Cash was the king of crossing genre covers and loved that shit. He would have laughed his ass off before the song even started, and probably would have grinned his way through the song itself. But we do love our little moral victories.
Randy Travis is completely flummoxed and maybe terrified by Adam Lambert, or at least doing the polished version of confusion and gay panic that a lifetime of being a well-known Blind Item can teach you. They try desperately not to cry having to talk to each other. Randy calls him a “very nice guy” and a “great singer,” nailpolish notwithstanding, which makes me think he’s intensely heterosexual and not at all gay, which is probably just a coincidence and not a really sad thing about the industry coming true right before your eyes… And then, of course, things get super effing freaky.
It is… I hate this, because he makes me talk like Paula because people words don’t work for things that are essentially otherworldly, so every week it’s difficult to describe without resorting to these weird labored metaphors. So — beyond saying that the Jeff Buckley vocal resemblance gets stronger every week and somebody needs to mention that already — like… It’s sort of like what if that movie Queen Of The Damned were not only real, but interested in slipping you a roofie and selling you on the black market. He screeches out some kind of artsy orgasm and nearly pulls his shirt up over his head, and then just starts wailing like some forgotten homosexual Greek myth about sailors that never come home. It’s… Totally awesome. Of course. I feel weird and crazy, and entertained. Those sudden register shifts used to freak me out with Jeff Buckley too, like, “And now I am a lady… And now I am a dude again.” I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that must have been for lots and lots of people.
Kara’s like, “This is what Adam doing country music looks like, yes.” The audience laughs about how weirded out she is by all of this business, which makes me wonder if America can even handle him this week, but then goes, “It left me confused and sort of happy,” which is exactly how I feel every week. (Simon, quietly: “Just like Paula.” Zing!) There’s this awesome gay version of Maroon 5 with a bleached bouffant sitting with Adam’s mom. Paula references “Kashmir” by Led Zeppelin, which is savvy in that it makes the whole thing seem less weird, like, “You bought Zeppelin forty years ago, and the Beatles, and honestly if you look back now without taking drugs, that was also a fucked up time in the life of America.” A cuddlier kind of apocalypse.
Simon’s like, “But what the hell was that?” Randy Travis giggles with quasi-hateful glee and vindication, but then shrinks back and gets pretty disgusted and bummed when Simon further implies that if Adam goes to Nashville he will be gay-bashed. Good on Randy T for feeling yucky about being co-opted into at least one of the ten bullshit things he’s been co-opted into. Adam and Ryan agree that Nashville will not welcome them and will not be visiting, and then Ryan giggles about “Remember Taylor Hicks?” I feel like my hatred of the Taylor Hicks thing was actually a time capsule sent back from right now, and my frustration about Constantine and Nadia and Carrie/Taylor was just impatience to get here, where we are now. Because right now, the show makes sense to me. Which is exactly why I voted for Adam repeatedly last night. I should probably be ashamed of that too.