Children of Starlight, part 3 episode 7 of “The Starlight Trilogy” by Thea Washington
The character “the Rock Star” is based on Adam Lambert.
The videos in Part 3 feature Adam Lambert, Queen, Depeche Mode and Savage Garden.
Chapter 14 – READY?
Meanwhile, Lover was a nervous wreck. He knew the conversation between Angel and the Therapist about children was taking place at that very moment. He and Angel had had some pretty serious conversations about the subject themselves. They’d gone well. There’d been no fights, not even disagreements, but that was because neither of them was willing to address the question directly.
Did they want children? And it had to be that both of them wanted them. It would never work if only one of them did. OK, Lover reasoned, it could work eventually but at first it would be bad for everybody. It would be best if they both wanted kids.
Angel didn’t seem to be against the idea, he just didn’t seem happy about it. Lover wasn’t exactly sure what the issue was but he thought it might have something to do with giving up the freedom to pretty much do whatever they wanted wherever they happened to be. And that meant around the house or the world. On top of that, Angel was an only child raised by a single parent. That they’d both been raised by single parents was one of the things they’d connected on early in the friendship.
The difference was that Lover was used to taking care of little kids. Angel didn’t have a clue. Not that Lover held that against him; he wasn’t sure but it might be influencing how Angel thought about being a parent.
This talk about having kids was still theoretical. They hadn’t even gotten to the particulars yet, like who’d be in what role. Gender-defined roles weren’t what they were talking about. Lover knew, though, one of them would have to be the “main” parent just to provide some consistency in the home. Luckily, money wasn’t an issue, so nobody had to take on the role of “provider.” But that consistency thing—who would that be?
As much as he tried, Lover couldn’t see Angel in that role. He’d be good in a lot of ways but that definitely wasn’t one of them.
It was time for some help. Lover asked for Starlight, who instantly appeared.
“I need some help.”
“I know what I want. And you know what I want.”
“Yes. And there’s someone else to consider, isn’t there?”
“I’m not sure how Angel feels about having children.”
“How do you think he feels?”
“I think he’s afraid that we’ll lose the life we have, I mean, that it’ll change.”
“It will change, you know that.”
Lover sighed, a big sigh. “I know. But …”
“But all he sees is what we might lose. He can’t see what we would gain.”
“You can tell him about that, what you will gain.”
“But what if he thinks I’m just trying to push him and ignoring what he’s really feeling?”
“Then you’ll have to let him know that you can understand how he’s really feeling, whatever that is. A big part of this will be for the two of you to listen to each other.”
“But what if we can’t get to either one answer or the other? What if the question itself destroys us?”
“Lover, would either of you let that happen?”
Lover thought, Damn, she’s good. Check-fucking-mate and I never even saw it coming. Starlight just laughed and sparkled back to Orion.
Lover was home when Angel got back.
“I’ve been thinking,” they both said, simultaneously. Neither one of them knew what came next.
Both started at the same time. “I think I’m/you’re scared about children.”
What could they do but laugh and hug and hug some more? This time Lover went first.
“I’m sorry. I admit, I’ve been looking at this from my side all along, all the good things. And I have been worried about what you’re thinking but I was too scared to ask.”
“Oh, T, that’s OK. I’ve been too scared to tell you. It would’ve made me sound really selfish and I don’t want you thinking about me that way.”
“That’s not selfish, wanting what you want. The thing is, how do we work this whole thing out so we can both have we want? That works for everything.”
Angel, once again, was moved by Lover’s wisdom and so grateful that this man loved him.
“I want us to stay us,” he said.
“So do I,” answered Lover.
“And I want us to do whatever we have to, to make that happen.”
“So do I.”
“I do like children.”
Lover knew this was it and that it could go either way. He promised himself to hold it together.
“So do I.”
“Then I want us to have some, well, at least one.”
Lover let himself go. “So do I,” he said, melting into Angel’s arms.
Later, in each other’s arms and half-asleep, Lover heard Angel whisper, “Thank you.” Turning his head and looking down at him, he asked, “For what, babe?” Angel answered, “For giving us a family. Without you we would have missed out on a whole lotta life and a whole lotta love.”
Chapter 15 – GET SET …
Now that that decision was made, the million others surfaced. Angel resorted to eating copious amounts of Grasshopper ice cream, which Lover was beginning to think had a positive effect on his ability to think clearly, not to mention his scientific talents. Since he was still in the studio (and Lover volunteered for various experiments designed to keep almost half of the container out of Angel’s mouth—sort of), that was OK. They began with the easy decision first—where to live.
Both men wanted someplace new. It didn’t have to be brand new, they just wanted it to be new to their new family. There was much looking at mansions, suggested by their well-regarded realtors, in Mt. Olympic, Hancock Park, Beverly Hills and Hollywood. They had specific requests to help guide the realtors—lots of bedrooms, a garage for lots of cars, an eternity pool, an outdoor room, music studio, screening room, lots of privacy, and views of the canyon, city and ocean. Not too much.
And they wanted a home, not just a house. This was going to be for a family, after all, not a gay couple who gave fabulous parties all the time. Not that that’s who they were, anyway. They just wanted to be straight about that.
Lover came home from the office one day to a note from Angel asking him to meet him at an address in WeHo. Lover got right back in the car (it was a “BD” or “Bentley Day” at the office) and headed off to see what Angel was up to. When he got there, Angel was sitting on the ground next to a gated stone wall.
“So why am I here?” asked Lover.
“I needed a ride so I called the house and left the message so you’d come get me.”
“OK,” said Lover, understandably perplexed and not even wanting to know where the Maserati was. “So get in the car so we can go home.”
“Can’t do that.”
“’Cause this is home.”
“This is home?”
“Uh huh. You just bought it.”
Lover didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t remember buying a house that day.
“So, how much did I pay for this home?”
“Eight million dollars.”
Lover was actually relieved. That he could afford. Hell, that, Angel could afford.
“So why did I buy this home and not you?”
“Because it needs some work?”
“Ahh, now we get to the crux of the matter. And exactly how much ‘work’ does it need?”
“You don’t have to worry about that right now.”
“And why not?”
“Because I put your name on these papers and now you have to sign them. See, I even have the keys. I’m very trustworthy. Plus people know where to find me.”
Angel couldn’t do it any longer, keep a straight face. It just wasn’t him.
“Do you really think either of us would buy a house without letting the other see it first? AND put your name on the papers? AND commit you to spending eight million dollars plus however much more on something you’d never seen before? You really must think I’m crazy.”
“Aww, babe, I don’t think you’re crazy. I’m feeling the crazy but I’m not thinking it. I am thinking about that insane asylum thing, though.”
“Well, hold off on that until you see the place. I think, no, I feel you’ll change your mind.”
And he was right. It was perfect. It had everything they’d said they wanted: 22,000 square feet, the seven bedrooms (theirs, the nursery, the rooms for each of two children (they’d decided on the number), one room for the nanny, a 2-bedroom guest cottage, and two offices. The nursery would become a guest bedroom once the kids had outgrown it. There was the garage for five cars (the Bentley, the Benz, the Maserati, the SUV and the nanny—they’d worry about the kids’ cars later, much later).
The views were right, the pool was right. Acres of open space but with some hills and trees. Places and arrangements for the security they’d need. A few things would have to be built in, like the gym and the studio, but otherwise it had just about everything they wanted. And everything else was doable.
Angel had done a great job finding that house. There was glitter on the doorstep as they left and a definite ‘celebration’ in the air. The only question was, what did they have in the refrigerator?
After “some happy” (they found some spaghetti to experiment with) it was time for the second decision.
They talked about it and decided that they each wanted a biological child, which didn’t necessarily rule out adoption of more later. They each felt they had great characteristics that could be passed on for healthy, happy kids. They also wanted the children to be related. The most involved part was how to do that.
Again, Angel came up with a great solution. They would use a Surrogate and artificial insemination. She would have to be willing to carry two children, one, the biological child of Angel and, two years later, the biological child of Lover. Or vice-versa. Either way, that way the children would be half-siblings and both raised by their biological fathers.
It was iffy, they knew that, but it could work with the right Surrogate.
The couple began to discreetly search for exactly the right woman, someone who would pass all the screening procedures and who had carried her own healthy children to term. They of course told their families the happy news about the decision to have children and their plan for the right Surrogate, pledging them to honor their privacy. The few people they confided in immediately understood and agreed.
Lover just wished his Twin Sister were still alive and could have shared in the happiness. He still hated what his old neighborhood had done to his family.
Tomorrow in “Children” – Relatively …