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Rock Icon Finishing School (RIFS) – Geology

November 8, 2010

Excerpted from our book On the Meaning of Adam Lambert

Previous posts: Intro, Architecture, Art History, Astronomy, Biology, Calculus, Chemistry, French poetry, Geometry, The Art of Food Selection & Preparation, Food and Physique – Advanced

Geology (Prof. N. Spirit). The first half of the course will explore, in intimate detail, the nature and catastrophic effect of Plinian eruptions, characterized by the massive and continuous spewing of large amounts of ejecta into the stratosphere. The second half of the course will focus on plate tectonics, the shifting and grinding of crustal plates and the volcanoes that form along the world’s greatest subduction zone, the Pacific’s Ring of Fire. Students will master the self-exciting dynamo hypothesis of terrestrial magnetism, which explains the wanderings and occasional reversals of the magnetic poles. Extra credit: Hands-on exploration of caves and other secret passages. Bonus points for finding the magnetic pole.

Professor Northern Spirit hails from northern latitudes where she obtained two degrees in the geological sciences. She has extensive hands-on experience teaching undergraduate laboratory classes and has participated in numerous field trips to volcanic hotspots along the Pacific’s Ring of Fire, transform fault zones in California, overthrust regions in Canada’s Rocky Mountains, and other exotic locales in the world. Her most popular field trips are those related to the study of terroir in Napa and Sonoma valleys. Away from the classroom Professor Spirit spends quiet time exploring the wonders and intricacies of origami architecture, gently coaxing delicate and hidden forms from Japanese paper. But it is billiards that most captures the fascination of Professor Spirit, allowing her to apply her fine knowledge of Newtonian physics to the interaction of hard spherical bodies on a frictional surface. Endless hours are spent studying the effects of a striking cue shaft against the cue ball and the interplay of the squirt angle with the amount of juice.

Next: Health II – Oral Hygiene

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Shannon permalink
    November 9, 2010 10:55 am

    Perhaps Professor Spirit would like to comment on the fact that several times and in several places over the last year earthquakes have either heralded Adam’s arrival or departure. I find this to be a very interesting phenomenon.

    • NorthernSpirit permalink
      November 9, 2010 10:01 pm

      A most interesting observation, indeed, Shannon. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Adam’s presence triggered earthquakes. Earthquakes are the result of a sudden release of stored elastic strain energy in the Earth’s crust. Common seismological theory holds that this energy comes from a buildup of strain/deformation as a result of crustal plates colliding or trying to slide past one another. Eventually, as this strain increases, the energy exceeds the elastic limit, and plates (or rocks along a fault) snap, releasing enormous amounts of energy in the form of seismic waves, heat and fractures.

      But is this the only source of energy causing earthquakes? As we Adam fans all know, Adam is love, Adam is light, Adam is energy, and he infuses an enormous amount of energy into everything and everyone who crosses his path. One only has to see how people’s faces brighten in his presence to know that energy transfer has taken place. Rocks, too, surely absorb this energy.

      Are you able to provide details of the quakes you mentioned in their relationship to Adam’s concerts? I can comment on only one earthquake (or rather two) that happened close to the time that Adam performed in Toronto on June 19th. On June 15th there was a foreshock of magnitude 3.3 centred near the Quebec–Ontario border. On June 23rd the main event took place, magnitude 5.5, in the same general area. While the epicenter was not in the Toronto area, we all know that Adam’s energy is far reaching and likely affected more distant, vulnerable areas of the Canadian shield.

      But does Adam alone cause earthquakes, or do we, his fans, who are so super charged before, during and after his concerts (must be the GB effect), also make a contribution?

      As a side note, Adam and crustal forces do not seem to be the only causes of earthquakes. Extramarital sex in Iran also does, too: http://tinyurl.com/38pnzma

  2. Thea permalink
    November 9, 2010 9:53 pm

    Lover took this course before teaching the Rock Star that coming-and-going lesson in the infamous ice cream scene, didn’t he?!

    I think I should enroll. I could spend “endless hours” “finding the magnetic pole,” especially since I tend to lose things after having them for a while and must find them over and over again … 🙂

  3. Shannon permalink
    November 10, 2010 10:46 am

    I know that there was an earthquake in California very shortly after Adam arrived home after having been away for some promotional visits, and I believe there was also one in Japan just before he arrived for his first promotional visit. There may have been more, but I haven’t notated them. Anybody have a better memory for this than I?

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