Rock Icon Finishing School (RIFS) – Calculus
Excerpted from our book On the Meaning of Adam Lambert
Calculus (Profs. C. Lambert and Glorious B.). Calculus is the study of Change. It may refer to any method or system of calculation guided by the symbolic manipulation of expressions. Ability to express and manipulate are prerequisites for this course. Newton used the methods of calculus to solve the problem of planetary motion, the shape of the surface of a rotating fluid, and the motion of a weight sliding on a cycloid. In this class, calculus will be applied to solve the trajectory of a spaceship attempting to dock with a Venutian space station, and whether an extra-dry martini should be stirred or shaken. Extra credit* will be given to students who propose and solve an original problem related to the motion of a weight sliding on a cycloid. Double credit for a demonstration of limits in calculus. Is there any penalty for going past the limit? Whips, anyone?
*Submissions will be entered into a drawing to win an Eye of Horus bumper oval
Professor Christine Lambert is perfectly suited to her position at the Rock Icon Finishing School. As Professor of Calculus, she has a Bachelor of Science with a major in Mathematics, and a Diploma in Teaching. She has taught both at High School and University level. Currently she teaches internal and extramural students, so is able to conduct her teaching from New Zealand if necessary. She also has MUCH experience teaching one on one, which is by far her most preferred position! She has also recently gained her Professorship in Cryptography, having no formal training in this field but rather an innate ability to understand puzzles and codes of all descriptions.
Speaking of change, here is Adam’s studio recording of A Change is Gonna Come from American Idol. Enjoy it while you sip on your Glamartini!!