Rock Icon Finishing School (RIFS) – Intro
by Juneau and Xena
Just over one year ago, during the first summer of Adam Love, we embarked on another one of our now-infamous fantasies. This one revolved around creating an elite academy where we would impart our wisdom and savoir vivre to our eager student Adam. We devised a curriculum celebrating the skills and knowledge of our amazing community on wowowow, tailored to the needs of a rock star on a world tour. It seems fitting to mark Adam’s Glam Nation World Tour by sharing the fruits of our fantasy, here in the original version complete with illustrations. We will be posting the RIFS brochure in its entirety over the coming weeks. Comments, critiques and suggestions welcome!!
Rock Icon Finishing School (RIFS) Brochure
(from the book On the Meaning of Adam Lambert, copyright 2009)
Founded in 2009 by a concerned community of scholars, the RIFS provides a unique post-graduate education for individuals who have had to sacrifice formal schooling in order to develop their preternatural talents and meteoric careers. Previous experiences of getting no satisfaction will be redressed by our distinguished faculty, noted for its depth and breadth of learning, instructional skills, talent, enthusiasm, attractiveness, confidence and hedonism. A RIFS education will blow open your world and, as a secondary benefit, prepare you to impress the world leaders, business tycoons and Nobel laureates that you will soon be mingling with at places like Davos and the TED Conference. We accept applicants who demonstrate high intelligence, curiosity, talent and a desire to be sent back for schoolin’.
Our Campus – Paradise and the World
RIFS is headquartered on the breathtaking, secluded north coast of New Zealand. Our facilities are equipped with luxurious guest rooms, a world-class spa, state-of-the-art recording studio, healthful and delicious meals, and a championship golf course. Maximum privacy and security guaranteed. While our campus provides a restful refuge, our curriculum is highly portable. The faculty is available to travel and help students complete their coursework in tandem with a world concert tour.
Academic Course Offerings
Architecture (Prof. X. P. Warrior). A comprehensive survey of world architecture, including ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman, medieval to modern European, Indian, southeast Asian, east Asian, and concluding with contemporary masterpieces of Latin American, Oceania and Japan. The unifying theme of this survey will be the Tower: its practical and symbolic significance through the ages. You must commit to extensive field investigation and dramatic impersonations of architectural landmarks.
Next: Art History