Surviving bullying-radio show podcast
By Xena
We devoted the October 6th radio show “Young Fans of Adam Lambert” to highlight Adam’s younger fans, their trials and accomplishments. On October 13th, we continued our conversation about young people suffering from bullying, isolation, humiliation and other unimaginable physical and psychological pain. Some of these children break before we can help them, before they can even tell us about their tortured lives. Most survive, but how?
“You are not alone”
To present reassurances to young people that eventually, life does get better and it is worth staying alive to cross that line of survival and leave the bullies in the dust. For many, the line is graduating high school, after which the daily unrelenting contact with the tormentors disappears, but our guest John tells us “It gets better but it never really goes away”
“Surviving the Bullying”
We offer strategies to deal with bullying, primarily that which occurs in schools, the most likely location. Some recommendations for the victim, the parents and the schools to undertake as either preventative measures, or solutions to existing problems.
Discussion Participants
John “Johnnie_Cakes” runs a bookstore in Houston Texas, is an Adam fan and came to some notoriety for his rather impudent tweets from the Glam Nation show in Houston. Recently John posted a very moving and beautifully told story about an incident in his high school life and how he still has some of the scars left by the taunting and bullying he suffered as a gay adolescent. It gets better but it never really goes away…..
Dr. Deborah R. Starr has been a teacher, Vice Principal and Head of School for over 30 years in both the New York City Public Schools and Private Independent Schools. She has been part of school-wide improvement plans to address Bullying, the Aggressive Student, and general Social Climate issues. See below for additional information provided by Dr. Starr.
Guest Alex Hollinsworth is the nineteen year old daughter of Xena. She volunteered to participate in the discussion as a survivor of bullying and a desire to help others. Painfully honest and straightforward, Alex is unafraid to speak openly about her experiences, as well as talk about what helped her. Her key message is “you are not alone”.
Scheduled guest Doug Lancaster was unable to join us this evening. Doug is founder of the Adam Lambert fan site OMRG! and well known in the Glamily. Doug is looking forward to a future career in Social Work and talks about his mission and his life on his website “Life One Day at a Time”
Related Post: “Mom! I need you! Help me!” by Xena
Helpful Information
Dr. Starr provided the following links for us:
www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing
“No one can make you feel bad about yourself, without your permission.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Elements of the Massachusetts Anti-Bullying Legislation, that was passed on May 3, 2010 – the strictest anti-bullying law in the nation:
- Requirement for bullying education classes in schools
- Students must learn that bullying should not be accepted and they have power against bullies
- Guidelines to school officials as to when police should be alerted
- Principals are required to take disciplinary action against bullies, and must notify the parents of both the bully and the victim
Websites we like:
The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.
“It Gets Better Project” on YouTube This project is excellent as it presents a variety of people, including major celebrities, talking about their personal experiences. A certain P. Hilton also recorded a video, however he should be disowned by this group on the grounds that he made public humiliation “acceptable entertainment” and it is not, it is simply bully behaviour and the worst example for young people.
One of my favourite books Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. I referenced it in the radio show. Recommended to all parents of daughters, read this as soon as she’s born, wish I had.
Informative media pieces on the topic
Crystal Bowersox “Just Imagine…..” A very moving and personal story.
Lance Bass, Wanda Sykes & Kathy Griffen talk to Larry King
I LOVE YOU!!! (suicide & bullying) – Outstanding YouTube video by Shane Dawson.
Joel Burns at Fort Worth City Hall tells kids “It Gets Better”
This post will be updated as new information becomes available. Have you found a source for helpful information? Please post it in the comments section here. Thank you very much for caring enough to help.
This is such an important topic. Deborah Starr offers some really interesting strategies that I hadn’t heard before, for example for isolating the bully and getting peers to help the bully change his or her behavior. If you’re being bullied, it’s essential to reach out and find a sympathetic person. You may feel no one will understand, but you are wrong. So many adults who appear successful and well-adjusted were bullied when they were young. If you are afraid you will be “outed”, there are hot lines and GLBT organizations in your community that will help you confidentially.
I also found the book Queen Bees and Wannabes very helpful, and want to note that the author also talks about bullying among boys. It’s not just about girls. And it is valuable not only for parents but also for teens to read and gain insight into the psychodynamics of bullying.